Sunday, May 16, 2010

Mom

My mom used to be a pianist and a singer, now she sits in a wheelchair most of the day and moves herself around the nursing home.....My mom has alzheimers....
The first time I noticed anything amiss, my mom was over visiting and wanted to call my sister...She picked up our phone and said, How do you use this thing?"....I told her how and she stood looking at it in her hand...I told her again and she just looked at it.....After getting angry for her stupidness, I grabbed the phone, pushed in my sister's number and said, "Now just talk"....I got angry at her....I thought she was just being aggravating.....Mom had been aggravating since I can remember....My mom was very hateful at times....If us 4 kids bought anything for her for Mother's day, it was never good enough....We were always trying to please her...Nothing pleased mom...
I remember times going singing (we were traveling Gospel singers) and that is the only way we pleased our mom....Us kids singing...There are 4 of us, and our mom, and our dad...Growing up all of us kids were very close....Now that we are older, we try to stay close but it usually doesn't work...
Our dad was a gift from God when we were growing up......except that he gave in to mom all the time because he loved her...Mom always got her way....If mom thought we had lived at one house long enough it was pack everything up and move....I moved 20 times before I got married at 18 yrs. of age.....20 times...The longest we lived anywhere was 5 yrs.....

Dad still visits mom every day at the nursing home....He sits with her and talks to her and then goes home to an empty home....Moms piano sitting there, not being played for years...

A few years ago mom's dementia was getting bad (we didn't know how bad yet) and she told me she had bugs...I said Mom if you have bugs don't come over my house until they go away...I was mortified....The whole family believed this until she starting talking crazy....She said if she left a light on at night,aimed at her head, the bugs wouldn't crawl out of her head and eat on her skin......I could tell by talking to mom, that she believed this...Dad took her to a doctor and they said No there are no bugs, but here is a cream to put on your skin....She would sit and dig holes in herself with her fingernails, "trying to get the bugs out"...I told dad she was going crazy....Mom was finally diagnosed about 6 years after her first "weirdness"....There were many things she did and we didn't catch on until around 2004/2005....After realizing what was wrong with mom, dad took her to specialists ..They gave her a pill that was supposed to "slow down" the progression of the disease...
Even through all this dad took care of mom at home ...Around this time, mom had started peeing and pooping in her pants,...so dad bought adult diapers and that is what she wore...After dad started having heart problems again, he got put into the hospital...We found out he has got 20% of his heart working...so Mom had to go to a nursing home...All of us kids live in homes with steps, and with steps come falls for alzheimers patients....My sister tried to take care of mom for 2 days...It didn't work.....
The first visit to see mom was so very hard....I felt like I was having an anxiety attack...I started crying....It was horrible.....Horrible...She begged us not to leave her in there by herself...It was absolutely the worse thing ever...I have been through some things in my life but this probably takes the cake.....Horrible...

2 comments:

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